What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
