i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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