Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
