I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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