You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
