i permit you to call me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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