Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize