Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
