So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
