You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
