Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize