YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
