she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
