I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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