Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
love makes seman taste better
We got so high we made milksteak
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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