After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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