I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
