you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
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Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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