you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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