that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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