drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He felt like a one man threesome
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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