Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
soo... how was my night?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
