I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
