also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
