She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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