I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i believe in u and ur pee
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
