I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
