The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
