would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
