I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i will never coherently bang her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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