We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
