I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
