I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
