Your dad touched me again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
