how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
