There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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