So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
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We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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