I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
