Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
