i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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