i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
