You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I intend to get homeless drunk
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
