i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Randomize