so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
