I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
