am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
