It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
