You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize