He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize