Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
