I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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