Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
