Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This is the high leading the old right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
The ass gains better be worth it
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