Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
