Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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