I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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