I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
