But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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