so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
