she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
They are going to name an STD after you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
