He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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