don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
